File this under “They Don’t Write Newspapers Like They Used To”—

Random photo of two Californians

100 years ago:

WYANDOTTE HAS ELIGIBLE BACHELORS FOR RICH CHICO WIDOWS — BUT NOT ENOUGH

(Originally published in the Oroville Mercury and republished in the Chico Daily Enterprise Nov. 28)

There are some 85 wealthy widows in Chico, according to the sworn statement of the Enterprise, who are waiting for some handsome man to propose to them.

By a coincidence there are 30 handsome and husky bachelors in Wyandotte. The Enterprise has publicly stated it is ready to sacrifice the interests of Chico by marrying off any of these widows. The Mercury has a list of Wyandotte bachelors. Let the Enterprise send in a list of widows and the county clerk and Judge J.V. Parks will get busy.

“Exhibit A” is a fine, tall, 6-footer, who has a good disposition, is kind to animals and owns a ranch. He would not object to a widow, especially a wealthy one, providing she is a good cook. Short, stout blonde preferred.

“Exhibit B” short, plump and dark. Also owns a ranch. Plays the oboe but would discontinue his musical exercises if his future wife objects to music. Would like as a life partner a tall, dark, slim, widow.

“Exhibit C” tall, handsome and — but why throw all our cards on the board?

In fact, to give those Chico widows a chance we will even go so far as to print a list of some of the Wyandotte bachelors, kindly furnished us by Fred Cornehl, a public spirited citizen of Wyandotte.

— Chico Daily Enterprise, Nov. 28, 1916

I like “Exhibit A” but I am not a short blonde. I am a pretty good cook though.

Thanks to Sally Mau of the Chico Enterprise-Record, who writes this weekly feature.